What’s not Wrong?

“I find this tool really helpful for lifting me out of a funk – especially on rainy or whiney or hormonal days! It doesn’t change what you’re looking at, just gives you a new lens, which is sometimes all we need.” Love, Olivia x

How will these questions help?

It’s hard to jump straight from surviving to thriving – these questions give you a softer angle on gratitude and silver linings

We have a natural bias towards focusing on the negative, and 2020 has given us plenty of that! These questions help to gently and creatively redress that balance

They’ll help you to realise that hard things and happy things can coexist, and are often two sides of the same picture

When a lot of stuff is going wrong, it can be hard to notice what’s going right.
It’s human to find the hard stuff hard, and so important to give ourselves the tools and permission to channel all our emotions in safe and healthy ways, and to model this for the kids too.
But sometimes we want or need to shake off that heavy, wallowing feeling, and shift into a more positive frame of mind.

Here are some questions to help you flip things around and come at gratitude from a fresh angle.
Grab a pen and a cuppa and have a little brainstorm with yourself. Take some slow deep breaths and lift your posture while you’re at it, and notice what difference it makes:

  • What’s not going wrong in my life right now?
  • What doesn’t feel stressful / exhausting / overwhelming / complicated / scary?
  • What do I have enough of in my life?
  • Who or what helps me get through days like this?
  • What am I learning through this?
  • How is this helping me grow?
  • How is this helping us connect and understand each other as a family?

Try writing down three things that are ‘not wrong’ right now, and then flip the language around and explore them a bit.

For example: “The kids weren’t fighting this afternoon” becomes “the kids played really well together this afternoon. That gave me more headspace to get my work done, and then bedtime was much happier for all of us”.

Or “I don’t feel as exhausted as I did last week” becomes “I feel more rested this week, because I got a couple of early nights. My head feels clearer, I’ve been more patient with the kids, and everything just seems a bit easier.”

Then you can write down three things you currently have enough of in your life. Not just material stuff, but things like love, comfort, food, health, or access to green space. And then explore how it feels for you to have enough of this stuff.

Sometimes it’s hard to jump straight from having a rubbish day to feeling grateful for the good bits – it can feel really forced and inauthentic, and can even make you feel worse! So it can feel easier to start from a place of ‘what’s not hard’ and go from there.
Have a go and let us know how you get on xx

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